*pronounces mullet moo-lay*

Aug 17th / Tagged: me too text / 312 notes †
your fave is problematic: zayn malik


  1. didn’t even care about the table breaking
  2. only wanted to have a laugh 
Aug 16th / Tagged: lmao text / 2,248 notes †


(likes boys but isn’t happy about it)

Aug 13th / Tagged: this is real this is me i had a weird epiphany about why i hate boys so much yesterday and now i hate them more :( text / 27,923 notes †


riddle me this atheists: if god isn’t real then who is inside the kleenex box pushing up the next tissue

Aug 13th / Tagged: omgg text / 82,835 notes †


My thighs are huge cuz they’re full of secrets

Aug 11th / Tagged: text / 229,044 notes †


you come into my house, you disrespect my problematic fave

Aug 11th / Tagged: text / 17,978 notes †
boom clap the sound of my ass Aug 8th / Tagged: so me text / 26,412 notes †


stop being too cool to enjoy things

Aug 8th / Tagged: text / 22,300 notes †


much like how sharks cannot stop swimming without asphyxiating, Ricky Gervais will die horribly if he goes more than an hour without reminding someone that he’s an atheist

Aug 7th / Tagged: omgggg tru he's so annoying text / 3,874 notes †


when will one direction sell useful stuff like underwear with their faces on it when you want to turn a guy off and make him leave you alone

Aug 6th / Tagged: text / 311 notes †


*talking to white*
me: hey montgomery we’re friends right? can i ask you a question?
timothy: my name is actually chester but yes
me: why did you pass the chinese
exclusion act in 1882

Jul 30th / Tagged: timothy: my name is actually chester f text / 13,629 notes †


me at the family event: well actually gender is just a social construct and only exists as a lubricant for the Capitalist Machine

Jul 29th / Tagged: this is real this is me !! always text / 7,506 notes †
  • Baby: n-n-n
  • Parent: oh it's his first words!
  • Baby: n-n
  • Baby: not all men
  • Parent: put it back
Jul 29th / Tagged: the only good one i've seen so far text / 36,483 notes †


it doesn’t matter how many “pretend to be dating” fics i read, i’m always fucking in it headfirst every time and i fall for that shit every time. i know the pattern i know the plot twists i know what’s gonna happen but every single fucking time i’m fucking on the edge of my seat wide-eyed whispering like “what’s gonna happen are they gonna fall in love” to myself like of course they are you fucking idiot this happens EVERY TIME but as soon as i see the description and it’s like “x person and x person pretend to do the dating” it’s eternal sunshine of the stupidest fucking mind over here

Jul 27th / Tagged: text my faveee / 25,476 notes †


I don’t even get jealous of other girls anymore tbh i get inspíred #growingup

Jul 27th / Tagged: text / 13,242 notes †


themed by i†neverends